5 Tips for Completely Bombing a Garage Sale

We are having a garage sale this weekend. Why, you ask? Because we have a lot of crap. Most of it is actually pretty great stuff but there is so much of it that there is no way we can enjoy it all or give it the attention it needs to reach it's potential. Things like a super awesome chandelier that was supposed to be painted an indigo blue and hung over the dining table. {I picked it up about a year and a half ago from a thrift store.} Things like children's toys that are in pristine condition or clothes that could be worn for another 10 years. I mean seriously - who needs that much stuff? So we are selling it. Of course, our intentions are not solely based on getting rid of what we don't use. We are hoping to move soon and we don't want to take more than we need to. Basically we are lazy.

So there's that.

Anyway, this week my goal is to gear up for this sale by doing a little everyday. One way for me to do this is to think of tips that will make this sale a most successful one. Of course, my brain also comes up with the least helpful hints as well so I thought I would pass them along. In case your brain does the same thing. So without further ado, here's what not to do.

5 Tips for Completely Bombing a Garage Sale

1. Schedule your garage sale during freezing rain.
It's always a good idea to schedule a garage sale during torrential weather. You are sure to have a ton of really happy customers who are willing meander through your junk amazing treasures whilst shielding their dolla' dolla' bills from the pelts of ice hitting their heads.

2. Don't hang your clothes on a line. 
Instead, spread them on the ground so your customers have to wade through stacks and stacks of last seasons' dresses and shoes. Make sure they are haphazardly thrown on the ground with no particular regard to size or style. It keeps everyone searching longer. The longer they are there, the more they will buy. Obviously.

3. Wait until late morning to start.
Who cares if those that are seeking out your sale will be there at 7:00 am sharp. If you want to sleep in, just turn them away. They will definitely be back later. They have been waiting for your sale all week.

4. Don't tell your neighbors about your event ahead of time.
Wait until the party in the street is in full force so that they can't take their child to her gymnastics lesson. Surely they will want to join in on your festivities instead. Offer the kid a toy drum as a conciliation prize. Your neighbor will thank you profusely. Every. Day. After.

5. Wait until the morning of to think about pricing each item.
That way when everyone starts coming in to check all of your "neat stuff", they will have to wait for  - or better yet, guess - the price. Hey, you can turn it into a game! I hear Bob Barker knows how to host this type of thing. He's probably available, but you may have to pay him in oxygen tanks.

Wish me luck on the garage sale this weekend. I am hoping that the weather holds out and that people actually show up.

So who needs 27 t-shirts or 3 glasses? Anyone? I'll be waiting with coffee on...for me at least.