Wednesday, October 9, 2013

My own personal Fear Factor

When we visit my grandmother in Reform, AL once a month {as talked about here}, I try to find something new and interesting to capture in my camera.  I want to constantly push myself and learn the art, while getting different shots each time we go.

In August, something caught my eye that both horrified and fascinated me.  They say that you are most fascinated with the things that scare you.  This must definitely be true because I am terrified of spiders. Case in point:  a story for you.

One morning, several years back {before Canon was even a twinkle in our eye}, I was getting ready for work. Craig had already been at the office for a while *coughoverachievercough*, but I of course didn't go in until 8 am.  After getting dressed and ready, I walked into the kitchen to make my lunch and stopped dead in my tracks.  There was a HUGE {3 inches!} spider on the curtain of the sliding glass doors.  My blood immediately turned cold, and I stared for several minutes before I could make my mind start thinking about what I could do to get rid of it.  I couldn't even fathom the thought of leaving the house without knowing it was no longer around.  What if it stuck around until that night and was waiting for me when I got home?! What if it killed my cat with its poisonous venom?! No, something had to be done now.

So, I did what any respectable, self-dependent woman would do...I called my husband.  I laid out the situation for him and asked him how I should free our home of this tyrant.  He suggested the broom.  Great idea.  I ran to the garage as quickly as I could since I did NOT want to lose that thing and not know where it crawled.  I, of course, kept Craig on the phone as I attempted to annihilate that creature while standing at least 5 feet away.  No go.  {And no, even though Craig likes to tell it this way, the spider did NOT actually take the broom from my hands.} However, I did lose it - the spider, not the broom.  I panicked.  I could not let it out of my sight for fear that it lay thousands of babies and their army of arachnids would attack us as we sleep.  So I told Craig, in no uncertain terms, that I needed him home. Immediately.

Let's take a minute to think about this.  I told my husband, who was already at work, to come home and kill a spider. Ridiculous?  Only if he hadn't listened.

He agreed {smart man} and got off the phone with me, at which point he turned to his buddies to relay the story of the massive arachnid that his wife was fighting to the death.  They all agree that he would score huge husband points if he went home to save the world save my life.  Oh, and he better bring the spider back to the office to show them because it sounded really impressive.

After a grueling 15 minutes of finding, and again losing, sight of my arch nemesis, Craig FINALLY arrived home.  He took the broom and poked around until he found Shelob and delivered blow after blow until it finally ceased to be. It could have just been one swat, but from my view on top of the chair it seemed like at least seventy. He then proceeded to place it in a plastic bag (for the viewing at his office) and began to make fun of me for exaggerating it's size.

For the record, I didn't exxaggerate.  Once dead, the spider's legs were curled underneath itself and appeared much smaller.

In any case, that day Craig became my hero and was hailed as the greatest husband and spider killer in the world. All hail Craig.  He defeated Shelob and saved our world from evil!

As you can see, I don't really like spiders that much, but when I saw this massive spider in Reform on our last trip I couldn't stop taking pictures of it - with my zoom lens of course.  You can't be too careful, you know. He could have jumped on me or shot me with some webbing like Spiderman.  I couldn't take that chance.

For the record, we spared this spider's life.  He wasn't threatening our household and was therefore allowed to live. You're welcome Aragog.

Also, yes I am now squirming in my chair after looking at these photos again.

*PETA:  Please do not come for me.  I do not kill all creatures great and small - only the ones that wish me harm and are taking over my humble abode.


  1. Dear Lord, I couldn't even read your post...I'm sorry. I stink.

    1. I honestly almost put a disclosure that said "Paige - don't even open this post. Free best friend past on this one." Seriously.