Thursday, February 6, 2014

A look into my morning

This morning started out like any other. I was awakened by a little boy bouncing into my room and crawling in bed with me to snuggle. Don't hate. Congratulate. 

Once we got out of bed, which was a difficult feat in and of itself considering how warm it was, we got up and had breakfast. I decided at that time to take a shower. That's when The Incident occurred.

Of course it is. Because nothing ever happens until you are in the shower.

I had already shampooed my hair and put the conditioner in when I heard it.


That's when the panic ensued. You know that moment when you look around the store only to find your child isn't where you thought he would be. Your stomach immediately sinks to your feet and your skin turns cold. Now imagine that happening while you are in the shower.

I called back to Canon to find out what was going on and he ran - nay, stormed! - into the bathroom to tell me that there was a "hooj bug in my bathroom and it's red!".

I'm sorry, what?! My mind immediately turns to something poisonous. Maybe it's a spider! Or a scorpion? Do those even come in red? Perhaps it's a rare species of beetle that comes to eat dust. {Actually, I may be able to live with that.} And what's more - A battle with a huge, red bug does not sound like my idea of a great time. Even better? Going to war in a towel with conditioner in my hair. Yeah, I know how to party.

Worst Case Scenario Girl. That's my superhero alter ego.

So I turn off the water {don't want to run out of hot water just for a bug!}, wrap up in a towel, and trek through the house dripping water everywhere. I have a shoe in one hand and an anxiety about this gigantic red monster in the other bathroom.

I walk in, apprehensively, to find a cock roach - with a tint of red coloring - on the tank of the toilet. Say it with me, everyone. Eeeewwwwww!!! Yes, I know. And to Canon's credit, it really was big. I tried to get it with the shoe, to no avail, so I left it to find some spray to annihilate it once and for all. Of course, when I returned it was nowhere to be found.

Of course.

It was at this time that Canon, who had been freaking out screaming over it's very existence, met me in the hallways and said "What did you do with it? It needs to go back to it's family." Really, son? Really?!

I go about my business and hope to God that my cat gets off his lazy butt to do his job and rid us of this nasty pest. Naturally, that doesn't happen and I happen to walk back into that bathroom to find it trying to crawl over the rug. {Pardon me while I dry heave for a moment.}

I race to get the shoe and rid our house of that disgusting creature by sending it down the toilet. I then have to explain to Canon that he made his way back to his family via a water slide. Whatever it takes.

Welcome to my life...and it's only 9:30 am.

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